Labels: back to school, BFF, By Dawn Yun, children's reading choices, kids camping, lounge, Palo Alto, Seattle, summer vacation, write

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No matter how early I get up, I’m always late in bringing my daughter to school.

After spending a couple of hours at my desk writing in the morning, one would think that this initial sense of accomplishment would propel me to ensure that I would succeed in getting my daughter out the door, in the car and into her classroom on time.

It doesn’t.

It seems like there is always something. And that something always seems to come during the last, critical five minutes before school departure.

My five-year old will suddenly have to go to the bathroom; need me to admire her output; wipe her bottom; want a different breakfast; have a stain that can’t be hidden; can’t find a sock; doesn’t like her shoes; hasn’t brushed her teeth; asks if she has to go to aftercare; cries that she has to go to aftercare; wants to have a spirited discussion on why she has to go to school at all.

Those five minutes are the difference between getting to school on time and missing the second bell.

I always think, “Made it!” when the bell hasn’t rung. When it already has, I have to make a decision. Do I press my daughter through the classroom door, where all the other children are already sitting neatly at their desks, and smile at or avoid the teachers, or admit defeat and trudge into the school office and ask for a late slip.

Gail, the women at the front desk, already knows my name. I can only attribute this to our tardiness.

I wish I could figure out a way to magically make us arrive at school on time. But the truth is that I have been late for everything my entire life, including my own wedding, so it’s really no surprise that I’m late bringing my daughter to school.

Or that my daughter is late on her own.

The thing about progeny is that they inherit the good and the not so good.

Oddly, for some reason, I’m always one of the first mothers for school pick-up. And Mimi is always one of the first kids in line waiting to be picked up.

She loves to possesively shout, “My mommy’s here!” her hand waving wildly in the air, while her Hello Kitty! backpack wiggles behind her.

While school mornings usually have insane beginnings, afternoon pickups almost always have happy endings.

By Dawn Yun

Labels: back to school, bathroom, breakfast, By Dawn Yun, Hello Kitty, late, late slips

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The morning began with my daughter, Mimi, telling me that she did NOT want to go to school.

As this was her first day – so far not so good.

Then she wanted to know if she could play her Nintendo DS.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

A lack of enthusiasm on her part, over-screaming on mine.

We agreed to begin again.

Together we made scrambled eggs. Mimi noted the pretty color swirls of the egg and yolk.

Good, I thought. Her artistic muscle is starting to move again.

I told her she could pick out any dress and shoes she wanted. To my delight, she chose the outfit her father had wanted her to wear. It was also the dress he had bought her. I consider myself incredibly lucky in that department as he buys all her clothing.

We got to school just as the first bell sounded and made it within the classroom before the second one did. I promised Mimi she would not be late a single day this year and I plan to keep that agreement.

Her teacher shook my hand and greeted us warmly. Some of the kids yelled out her name. Big smile. Mimi was assigned a seat next to a friend from last year’s class and her table was right next to that of one of her closest friends.

More importantly, the classroom felt right. What was so correct about it was its size: small. The room was intimate. This was what a classroom should be, and should have been during her previous grades. Now she would get the attention that all students, especially young ones, need to receive.

But that is behind us: the remainder of the year is ahead.

Mimi was completely happy. I left joyful, too. As I surveyed the school lawn filled with mommies in seemingly earnest conversations, I saw that the mothers I had decided I would hit up early for play dates were deep in talk and I didn’t feel perky enough to join in.

I realized I also lacked the required joviality to attend the parents’ coffee in the auditorium.

Besides, I had errands to run, an article to write and the classroom experience was so perfect -- I didn’t want to mar it.

I’ll bring my appointment book with me tomorrow and try again. If that doesn’t work, perhaps the next day.

Though I have this sense that I may not need to be involved in my daughter’s play life at all.

She seems to be doing just fine on her own.

School is for her. It is not social time for me. I already suffered through high school once. I don’t want to have to do it a second time.

By Dawn Yun

Labels: back to school, Dawn Yun

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Tomorrow begins second grade for my daughter.

This is a big milestone.

It marks for the first time, in at least five years, that I may feel comfortable about her schooling.

I didn’t care for her preschool. I felt the director showed too much favoritism toward “special” students – mostly the ones whose parents contributed additional money.

I stayed because Mimi’s friends were in the school and I was good friends with their parents. Mimi had no idea of what I was experiencing. She was treated well and had lots of fun.

In kindergarten I choose a K/1 class for her because it seemed so much brighter and happier than the other classes. I emphasized to the teachers that I was not an uber-mother, and though she seemed bright, that was not yet apparent to me.

It seems it was never was apparent to them, either. She got “labeled” as being one of the slowest readers and writers in her class.

I tried volunteering for things others parents didn’t want to do like making copies, though I don’t know how to make them and I have a history of breaking copying machines. I broke two at her school. Within minutes of each other.

I learned that the yellow dot on her papers meant that she was in the slowest group. This I discovered while I was teaching her and her fellow students how to read.

Finally, I told her teachers about my health issues and they said it probably affected her emotionally, hence her falling behind. My worst and guiltiest fear. Mimi was in a class with kids reading chapters books while she could barely make out Dr. Seuss. If only I had been more emotionally available to her. . . 

But now Mimi has a wonderful second grade teacher. I met the woman and she told me she can sometimes be scattered, but she always knows what she’s doing.

I liked her immediately. She’s not too strict. One of Mimi’s best friends since the age of three is in her class, that friend’s friends are in there, too, and Mimi knows nearly half the other kids who were in her genius class. So she will be comfortable.

I was a quiet child who became a talkative adult. Mimi is a talkative kid. She’ll speak to anybody of any age, any gender, about anything.

While she is not fond of homework, she has caught up. She can do it. 

In the genius class Mimi was not a child who had a lot of play dates.

I was always amazed at how hard other mothers worked it to ensure their kids had something going on with the other kids all the time.

I have to also admit that given my health issues, I was surprised more mothers didn’t offer to help and include Mimi on play dates. I’m no Lady Godiva, but I know what’s important.  I’m not sorry for me, but I am for my daughter that more mothers did not reach out to her through their children.

I think if the class had been a regular one with only 20 kids instead of 40, perhaps more offers would have been forthcoming. People knew my situation.  News travels fast in school.

That’s why I’m so happy about Mimi’s new class. The teacher rocks! She already has friends. I’m going to volunteer to read or come up with creative games that the  kids can play twice a month.

I feel like it is a new beginning for Mimi and for me. I feel as if our baggage has been left behind.

I’m even going to attend the coffee social in the morning though I have to rush home to do interviews and get an article written before one when I have to pick Mimi up.

I have no doubt there will be tons of play dates already lined up. But I’m bringing my appointment book, a pen and will be ready to start arranging play dates for her.

More than anything, I hope she enjoys school, loves to learn, reaches her potential, and makes good friends.

Though she’s starting second grade, it’s as though she’s beginning school anew. With new beginnings come wonderful opportunities.

This is going to be a fabulous year.

By Dawn Yun

Labels: back to school, By Dawn Yun

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After returning home from a fun, but intense, non-stop vacation – it is hard to believe that in three weeks school will begin.

My daughter has spent the last two years in K/1, a class of forty students, half in kindergarten, half in first grade. In kindergarten her homework rivaled that found in college. By first grade it had eased up.

I made a mistake by putting her in that combo class, where most of the parents call it advanced and see their children as being such.  

Perhaps it might have worked for Mimi if I hadn’t gotten sick.  But it was a class where nurturing was secondary to independence.

My daughter needed the former.

I would not repeat my error. Before school ended, I interviewed all the second grade teachers, spoke with my daughter’s then instructors and discussed Mimi’s education with her principal.

All agreed on the teacher she should have in straight second grade, which will have only 20 kids. Mimi will have to start over and meet new friends, as most of the old ones will be staying in the genius 2/3 classes.

I’m really happy she is moving onto something smaller and warmer.

I am less thrilled with the prospect of homework. I think Mimi is smart. I’ve been cautious about deciding that, but after watching her do some challenging math --thrown at her by her older brother  -- and her knowing the answers, my hope is that arithmetic will not be a problem.

She doesn’t like to do it, though.

We’ve since had long talks bout the importance of doing well in school.

“But if I get really good grades, Mom, then I’ll be a nerd.”

‘Did she actually say that?’ I thought.

I asked if she thought her cousin, Tiffany, who graduated with honors from Stanford with undergraduate and graduate engineering degrees in just four years, was a nerd.

“OK, maybe not Tiffany. But if you’re super smart, you are a nerd, Mom. It’s true.”

I launched into a long explanation that being “super smart” does not mean you are a nerd. You are “super cool.” (Of course, just by saying those two words together  -- you’re not).

I told her that daddy and mommy are smart. Her aunts and uncles are intelligent. It is OK to be smart, be good at art, at sports, have friends, enjoy school, and do well at homework, too.

“Can’t I just play?” she asks.

“No, you can’t just play. You have to go to school!”

Three short weeks.

I’m feeling a bit like a faux parent. Though I got straight A's in elementary school, once I got to middle school I saw how much fun NOT being a nerd could be.

I want her to have a different educational journey. I have signed up for parenting computer groups and will be volunteering more at her school and might EVEN get involved in the PTA.

I realize that simply because I didn’t try my best doesn’t mean my children have to go down that road. I remind them of that all that time, and always explain my regrets at not doing better.

I tell them I will be returning to college for a graduate degree in a year.  They find that intriguing. I tell them the point is to always keep challenging ourselves.

Still, this year I will do what I said I never would. I will actually bribe them with allowances and prizes for excellent grades. My son, who is in high school, has gone from Fs, Ds and Cs to a straight B average based on praise (and a bit of yelling).

Mimi, our material girl, finds inspiration through the acquirement of things (as well as lots of props). If I have to spend money, then I must.

Otherwise, it will be spent on tutors.

I’d rather she “earn” her way to good grades, and we make her path as fun as possible.

I think it's possible. Well, I guess we’ll see in three weeks.

By Dawn Yun

Labels: back to school, By Dawn Yun, good grades, nerds

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For longer than I care to admit I have bought into the concept of “fall back-to-school fashions” as envisioned by retailers nationwide. Back to school fashion means abandoning faded T-shirts and khaki shorts for autumn-hued sweaters and thick corduroy trousers to wear stomping in crackly maple leaves.

Or hopping off the ubiquitous yellow school bus in cable-knit stockings and solid jean jumpers with the smell of wood burning in fireplaces wafting through the cold, still air. Perhaps a dapper plaid hat is added to the mix? A comfy scarf wrapped around the neck? Brown leather shoes!

Yes, fall has arrived!

Problem is, fall hasn’t arrived here in sunny northern California by the time children are marching back to the classrooms. The autumn months here are known for their long “Indian summer” days of sunny skies with record temperatures.

Has that stopped me from giving in to the retail buyers’ vision of fall? Have my children sweated through recess on their first day back to school in heavy “fall” clothing?

Before I answer that I’ll share with you how cute they looked --during the first photo taken at the front door, before they stripped down halfway through recess in a desperate attempt to cool off. I, too, remember that first day of school, partly for the memory of happily flinging off my heavy, hot, fall outfit the moment I arrived home and donning a faded T-shirt and cool khaki shorts.

It’s almost a twisted right of passage.

This year will be different. My kids will enjoy their first weeks of school in appropriate warm weather clothing, though not faded T-shirts and khaki shorts.

Come Halloween when the weather tends to take a turn towards fall, chilly nights and we often receive our first rainy days, and I’ll allow myself to buzz happily over the fall clothing in the store windows.

By then, however, the retail shops will be bursting with Christmas-themed pajamas and Santa red sweaters, garments which adorned in November may be a greater fashion faux pas than donning a faded t-shirt and khaki shorts.

But don’t tell my kids.

By Maija Threlkeld

Labels: back to school, clothing, fall, Maija Threlkeld, summer camps

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