The Writing Mamas Daily Blog
Each day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.
And for that, you are a goddess.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Vacationing with Adult Children; Relishing Time Together
I am poised on the edge of my seat as I prepare for our family vacation at Stinson Beach.
About five years ago this same vacation destination took place with myself, my darling husband, David, my lovely daughter, Alicia, and my handsome son, Dante: each of us thriving and enjoying one another’s company.
At the time, my daughter, then twenty-one, had just returned from a trip to Australia and she spent many beach hours compiling a beautiful photo album. My son was sixteen and his time was taken up daily with many of his Bolinas girlfriends visiting him in casual beach attire.
Trying to bring back the laid-back, relaxed atmosphere we attained then somehow has a different edge at this stage in our lives.
Now attempting to rekindle that tranquil beach vibe feels like a challenge to our full, adult lives and calendars. Dante is inching ever so close to becoming twenty-one. He lives the bachelor life in an apartment of his own and holds down a full-time job.
Our daughter of twenty-five just finished getting her masters degree at Mills College. She also works full time, and loves living in her Victorian San Francisco apartment. Being a parent of seasoned adults just has a different feel to it.
Imagining the beautiful waves of Stinson beach past carrying my son and daughter on boogie boards with their joyous smiles is heartwarming. We always aspired to give our children the freedom to experience the mighty ocean waves.
However, it is a thrill-seeking sport. Today, I will not throw caution to the wind, having read the headlines of shark warnings, shark sightings and shark attacks at Stinson Beach. My present day itinerary will not include anything near a boogie board. Tame wading in the cold surf will just have to suffice.
I hope to have the oceans roar as a mystical backdrop as a start to our days together while I cook up hearty breakfasts of pancakes, turkey bacon, French toast, and eggs. My two young adults have been on their own now for quite some time, so I want to spoil them in safer, more comforting ways.
Maybe I will be able to interest them in long beach walks where we can share family connections at a deeper level. In the fast-paced lives they lead with full-time jobs those spontaneous emotional exchanges are few and farther between.
I can only hope the love we continue to share will be nourished with surf, sand and Mount Tamalpais as our backdrop.
In my vision of family unity our happy history at Stinson beach remains a safe place to play. Surely the family events that take place will entertain us like a photo album of memories.
And they did.
On Saturday, my daughter’s friends came to visit. Anna, a childhood comrade, now a mother of a five-month-old darling baby boy, entertained us for hours. We all took turns holding her baby. My daughter’s graduate-school friend, Alison, also came and enjoyed a well-rounded barbecued dinner, and spent the night with us.
These invitations remind my husband and I of the comfort our daughter shares when she puts our family on display. Thankfully, we can be accepted into this window of her friendship circle.
During Saturday evening our son chose to watch a Tom Cruise movie, “The Last Samurai.” Knowing full well how enamored Dante can be with heroic displays of manhood, we gladly honored his preference. The big surprise from our son was when he announced to all he would be spending his Saturday night sleeping in the outdoor hammock. We joked how he would be jostled during the night by bats or get so cold he would need to come inside to a warm bed. He just smiled. Ultimately, he proved us all wrong as we awoke to see his trusty baseball cap peeking out of the yellow down comforter he wound himself up in all night.
I did manage to ask Dante for a heart-to-heart beach walk only to receive a perplexed look. “You really want me to do that?”
All-in-all I am totally appreciative of every moment my two grown children choose to show me their affection whether it be outgoing or symbolic.
Labels: Cynthia Rovero, family vacations, grown children
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Thursday, July 03, 2008
You Gotta Keep Moving, Moving, Moving. . .
Turns out that writing for The Writing Mamas head honcho Dawn is not so foreboding after all.
Here I was thinking my penned thoughts on her group would be dismissed as pure drivel, but instead she gave me heads up super positive feedback. This only encourages me to write more, which is what I am in her group to do.
So why not begin with real life Mama drama?
This week is full of surprises as my twenty-five year old daughter is making a big decision to move into San Francisco with a longtime sisterly girlfriend.
I am excited for her again as she has given me many opportunities to rise to her occasions of life changes, accomplishments and edgy, fun antics with her friends.
It will give us a longer distance to bridge as being the nature lover that I am -- finding reasons to go into San Francisco just do not happen a lot.
Even though she claims I do not visit her very often where she lives now in Sausalito, she forgets to include the drop-ins at our home in Mill Valley, which we enjoy together on pretty much a weekly basis.
Thankfully we will still have our shared office days together as we divide the same two-room insurance business space. Aside from our water cooler chitchat, this move of hers could bring me to a new phase in my mindset where visits to her San Francisco haunts become inviting times for me, too.
My twenty-year old son is giving me reason to be thankfully surprised as his new apartment situation in Mill Valley is turning out to be a huge positive change to his lifestyle as a young bachelor.
It is amazing to me how he works so hard full time as a city groundskeeper and still manages to have a positive attitude about keeping our family dates intact. I find many opportunities in our regular meetings to want to mimic his relaxed emotional cues with easy going feelings of my own.
Still, he is aware of how his sister’s move to San Francisco is a huge change to our once tight-knit Marin living, so he, too, will have some adjusting to do when it comes to finding time to hang out with her.
All in all knowing how many times I wanted to live in San Francisco where the eclectic mix of energy, diversity, and cultural entertainment meets a person so much quicker than mellower Marin: my daughter’s opportunities to enrich her life will overflow.
I can only be a happy cheerleading Mama and encourage this growth period transition with smiles and hugs as I find that to be the most comforting stance.
By Cynthia Rovero
Labels: Cynthia Rovero
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Friday, June 27, 2008
Oh, Mamas Why You Mean So Much to Me
On the verge again it seems of allowing myself the freedom to use a new outlet for my creative writing.
The mood here at the Writing Mamas Salon is different than I have experienced in my past writing classes at College of Marin and the one introductory course at Book Passage by Leslie Keenan where I began my search for a glimmer of hope that my poetry could find a life outside of my own home and the "Bolinas Hearsay Newspaper."
Hearing the warm welcomes of mothers making heartfelt connections with each other and displaying a positive outlook toward having a special place to showcase their creative writing is an enormous tug at my heartstrings.
I, too, want to believe that I can find pleasure in becoming a regular member of this group.
Just having taken a quick peek at The Writing Mama Salon website, where it is possible to enter blogs and essays, is already creating a desire of mine to be able to contribute a blog or essay of substance to the site, as other members in this warm, inviting group find quality time for themselves to do.
On a side note, I am feeling another connection on a maternal level as an adoptive parent of our loving son with Guatemalan heritage. These maternal instincts come to mind, as I am privy to a conversation going on next to me between two women.
One of them is making it known her deep appreciation of Guatemalan culture through the loving part of her life that is being an adoptive mom to two wonderful Guatemalan children.
In just a matter of minutes, I Iearn more of possible writing workshops to join that take place in Guatemala through the friendly woman who sat down next to me.
It seems almost too good to be true that they chose to sit by me, so that I may find encouragement on many levels to really give The Writing Mamas Salon a whole-hearted try as so many pieces of me are yearning for an acceptance and freedom to emerge from the mostly solitary poetic writings I have been compiling and occasionally sharing with loving family members.
I have been pondering this for many months now: to be exact since January, when I joined The Writing Mamas Salon for the year.
Actually, I was fearful. Could I fit in to such an active group of moms? Yes, of course.
I, too, am a Mom and love to express myself through poetry, so why wouldn’t this group enhance my capabilities as a writer?
And, hopefully, more mama connections can evolve. My other aspiration is that luck will have a way with surprising the writer in me with a new voice just waiting to be heard and read by more than my own ears and eyes.
By Cynthia Rovero
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