The Writing Mamas Daily BlogEach day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.
If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.
And for that, you are a goddess.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Vacationing with Adult Children; Relishing Time Together
I am poised on the edge of my seat as I prepare for our family vacation at Stinson Beach.
About five years ago this same vacation destination took place with myself, my darling husband, David, my lovely daughter, Alicia, and my handsome son, Dante: each of us thriving and enjoying one another’s company.
At the time, my daughter, then twenty-one, had just returned from a trip to Australia and she spent many beach hours compiling a beautiful photo album. My son was sixteen and his time was taken up daily with many of his Bolinas girlfriends visiting him in casual beach attire.
Trying to bring back the laid-back, relaxed atmosphere we attained then somehow has a different edge at this stage in our lives.
Now attempting to rekindle that tranquil beach vibe feels like a challenge to our full, adult lives and calendars. Dante is inching ever so close to becoming twenty-one. He lives the bachelor life in an apartment of his own and holds down a full-time job.
Our daughter of twenty-five just finished getting her masters degree at Mills College. She also works full time, and loves living in her Victorian San Francisco apartment. Being a parent of seasoned adults just has a different feel to it.
Imagining the beautiful waves of Stinson beach past carrying my son and daughter on boogie boards with their joyous smiles is heartwarming. We always aspired to give our children the freedom to experience the mighty ocean waves.
However, it is a thrill-seeking sport. Today, I will not throw caution to the wind, having read the headlines of shark warnings, shark sightings and shark attacks at Stinson Beach. My present day itinerary will not include anything near a boogie board. Tame wading in the cold surf will just have to suffice.
I hope to have the oceans roar as a mystical backdrop as a start to our days together while I cook up hearty breakfasts of pancakes, turkey bacon, French toast, and eggs. My two young adults have been on their own now for quite some time, so I want to spoil them in safer, more comforting ways.
Maybe I will be able to interest them in long beach walks where we can share family connections at a deeper level. In the fast-paced lives they lead with full-time jobs those spontaneous emotional exchanges are few and farther between.
I can only hope the love we continue to share will be nourished with surf, sand and Mount Tamalpais as our backdrop.
In my vision of family unity our happy history at Stinson beach remains a safe place to play. Surely the family events that take place will entertain us like a photo album of memories.
And they did.
On Saturday, my daughter’s friends came to visit. Anna, a childhood comrade, now a mother of a five-month-old darling baby boy, entertained us for hours. We all took turns holding her baby. My daughter’s graduate-school friend, Alison, also came and enjoyed a well-rounded barbecued dinner, and spent the night with us.
These invitations remind my husband and I of the comfort our daughter shares when she puts our family on display. Thankfully, we can be accepted into this window of her friendship circle.
During Saturday evening our son chose to watch a Tom Cruise movie, “The Last Samurai.” Knowing full well how enamored Dante can be with heroic displays of manhood, we gladly honored his preference. The big surprise from our son was when he announced to all he would be spending his Saturday night sleeping in the outdoor hammock. We joked how he would be jostled during the night by bats or get so cold he would need to come inside to a warm bed. He just smiled. Ultimately, he proved us all wrong as we awoke to see his trusty baseball cap peeking out of the yellow down comforter he wound himself up in all night.
I did manage to ask Dante for a heart-to-heart beach walk only to receive a perplexed look. “You really want me to do that?”
All-in-all I am totally appreciative of every moment my two grown children choose to show me their affection whether it be outgoing or symbolic.
By Cynthia Rovero Thank God for simple pleasures.
Thank God for simple pleasures.
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