10.  Rewards sloth—the longer you put off grocery shopping, the easier it is to clean!

9.  No moral quandaries about whether discards are suitable for Goodwill.

8. Potential for discovering medical breakthrough growing on leftovers.

7.  Possibility for weight loss if growth on leftovers results in food poisoning instead of Nobel Prize for Medicine.

6. As productive procrastination goes, it is more gratifying than cleaning your sock drawer.

5. Discover container of leftover chocolate sauce, rear bottom shelf. Yum.

4. Uncover tonight’s Mystery Dinner to augment Found Dessert (see #5).

3. Unlike most household chores, does not need to be repeated for a really long time.

2. Out with the old! (May generalize to closets, hairstyles, and boxes of adorable infant clothes that no longer fit your middle schooler.)

1. Make way for the new!!! (OK, it’s a cliché, but applicable to untried recipes, a better wardrobe, and material for write ‘em fast blogs.)

By Lorrie Goldin

Labels: blogs, cliche, Goodwill, grocery shopping with kids, leftovers, Lorrie Goldin, Nobel Prize for Medicine, sock drawer

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Bewitching hour at the grocery store.

I dare to venture into Safeway between four-thirty and eight at night, or whenever my kids start to melt down in the evening.

Over the din of crying babies and the glare of fluorescent lighting a chemical imbalance occurs in children. I’ve seen kids go from complacent and mute to wild-eyed Mr. Hydes determined to torment their parents. Tired, testy parents are forced to brush past other tired and testy shoppers in single-lane aisles.

Oh, the horror.

In my pre-kid life I remember moving my shopping cart around a father who was kneeling before a young child splayed across the dirty laminate floor. ‘Oh puleeze. Just pick him up and leave,’ crossed my mind. Now I imagine the no-food-at-home/no-choice-but-to-endure scenario that may have forecasted that dad’s ill-timed venture.

The art of distraction only works to a point, too.

“Here, help Mommy count out six apples,” I’ve commanded my kids. We’ve counted bananas, examined oranges, plucked lettuce, learned about kiwi. But fatigue inevitably overpowers engagement, and in a flash the kids are battling.

When it’s gotten ugly I’ve left carts full of groceries in the store and dragged the kids back to the empty car with lectures about shopping etiquette. But I feel like I'm being penalized. While the kids listen behind hooded eyes I’m lamenting the missing milk or other staples back at home.

Come morning, though, sometimes milk-less Raisin Bran leaves a better taste than the memory of the dairy aisle from the night before.

by Maija Threlkeld

Labels: grocery shopping with kids, Maija Threlkeld

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