A friend of mine got married last week in City Hall. He wanted a church wedding, and asked my minister to officiate. Unfortunately, the Presbyterian Church would only allow him to bless this couple, not marry them, because they’re gay. Although his civil ceremony was less pomp and circumstance than vows exchanged in stain-glassed sanctuaries, it was just as official in the eyes of the law.

That got me thinking about the church and state separation we supposedly still honor in this country. The law recognizes marriages by ships’ captains, judges and mayors, but somehow, the whole religious debate has crept into the equation. Growing up in the South, there were churches that banned dancing and drinking and required women to wear dresses at all times. They defined their version of morality and built a congregation of like-minded party-poopers. This group had no more say in a constitutional re-write than the groups trying to ban gay marriage.

Marriage is a religious choice, but it’s a civil right.

Let churches decide who can be married under their roofs. Let them tell women they can’t be leaders in the church and prohibit safe sex. Let them discriminate on the basis of their version of God’s word, no matter how small-minded, sexist, or racist they are.

The courts, on the other hand, are required to enforce the Constitutional code many of our churches would prefer to ignore: that All Men Are Created Equal. I believe this sacred tenet to be true not only in the eyes of our government, but also in the eyes of God. There’s only one thing I can do to show my church its anti-love treatise cannot stand.

It’s time for a divorce.


By Kimberley Kwok

Labels: Gay Marriage, Kimberley Kwok, Religion

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