The Writing Mamas Daily Blog

Each day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.

If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.

And for that, you are a goddess.

Monday, May 26, 2008



It’s Mother’s Day and I’m lounging with the Sunday paper, which, appropriately enough, is filled with stories about mothers. As I read one about a group for adventurous moms, this sentence makes me do a double take: “Although most of the women used to work full time, about half now have the luxury of being full-time moms.”

I read it again. It’s that word “luxury” that bugs me. Here’s how a dictionary defines it: “something adding to pleasure or comfort but not absolutely necessary.”

Maybe I need to cut the writer some slack -- she probably wasn’t setting out to diss us stay-at-home moms. Still, I find it disturbing-- not to mention ironic--that a Mother’s Day article refers to our role as a luxury.

Since when did a woman’s decision to stay home and care for her children become something nice but unnecessary, like getting a manicure?

I know I’m incredibly lucky that I don’t have to work full time; that I get to take my daughter to school each morning and greet her with a hug when she races out her classroom door every afternoon. My decision to stop working full time was more than a little selfish -- I didn’t want to miss a step of her journey from child to adult. But I also chose to stay at home because I believe raising my daughter is the most important job I’ll ever have.

I feel for mothers who would love the same opportunity but can’t afford it; who have to witness many of their children’s milestone moments through the eyes of others. And I sympathize with moms who have made the choice to, at least temporarily, trade fulfilling careers for a job with no pay that sometimes seems so much harder to do well.

I doubt that they consider being a stay-at-home mom a luxury.

By Dorothy O’Donnell


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I'm sure the writer didn't mean luxury as in the true definition of "luxury". Obviously being a stay-at-home mom is not a luxury as defined " something adding to pleasure or comfort but not absolutely necessary.” Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work (I know I have three children three years apart, and was home until they were in school).

But I would personally define being a stay-at-home mom as a “luck-ury”. I was very lucky to spend each waking moment with my children… every giggle, every word, every new experience… I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But I WAS lucky.

Now I am co-founder of a successful company. I get to take my children to school every day, and pick them up three days a week. I go to every musical and awards ceremony. Would I call it a luxury. No... I still work hard (I work most nights until midnight) – but again, I would call it a “luck-ury”.

So, I guess for those who do not stay home with their children or who do not have the flexibility to attend special school events, they may view our lives and jobs as a "luxury". But for those of us who can, or choose to stay home and or work flexible hours… we can simply chalk it up to “luck-ury”.
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