Watching a mom with kids in line at Starbucks, I smiled in recognition. She urged her preschooler trying to make a choice, while attempting to keep her toddler from molesting the packaged sandwiches. I knew this mom was hoping that the treats would buy her a few quiet moments to sip her latte in peace.

I’ve been there.

Except that I was wrong. This was no slacker mom. She sat the children down at the table next to me spreading napkins to shelter the scones from germs and puncturing straws perfectly through milk cartons. I generally forget to get extra napkins until the milk spills over someone’s pants and on to the floor because I’ve allowed my child to puncture his own milk carton.

Once the children are comfortable, Clean Mom whips out a book and begins quizzing her children. “What is this letter?” she asks as her preschooler wiggles in her seat and the toddler whines. “This is an S,” she continues hopefully, “It says star. Can you find the star?” She continues on with great excitement, encouraging the girls to recognize letters and find their associated pictures. The girls are more interested in wiggling, whining and tipping their chairs backwards.

I don’t even have my own children with me and already I’m exhausted. I need another latte. That’s when I notice that Whiz Mom doesn’t even HAVE a latte. This woman has come to Starbucks with her children to buy THEM a snack and pack in some academics.

I stare at her in wonder.

“Well, that was an interesting book, wasn’t it?” Whiz Mom enthuses as she stashes it into her designer diaper bag. I can imagine what else is in that bag: organic fruit carefully diced into bite size pieces; three different kinds of sandwiches cut into butterflies and heart shapes; veggies with dipping sauce and an ice pack to keep them cold. Of course, there are also two water-filled sippy cups that have been hand washed and properly sterilized in boiling water just this morning; two changes of clothing per child in case of spills or weather changes; sunblock for reapplication at noon; hats; a portable diaper changing station; and, of course, educational toys and books.

It’s a good day for me if I remember to throw a diaper and a bag of crackers into my milk stained, crumb-filled purse. But, then again anything I forget to bring on outings is likely to be found somewhere in the trunk of my car.

I’m pretty convinced that labeled toy bins, extra-curricular activities and preschool worksheets don’t make a childhood. But, maybe I’ve become a little too lax lately.

A few examples to confirm my slacker mom status: The kids get baths maybe twice a week. Sheets get changed every two weeks. Lunches and snacks consist of easy to prepare options such as yogurt, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, carrot sticks and easy to eat fruit like bananas. My sons drink out of the water fountain when I forget to bring along their sippy cups. Except for swimming lessons and preschool, there is no soccer, karate, gym, music or Spanish classes that require money and that I show up somewhere at the same time each week. I didn’t start reading to the baby until he was ten months old.

I make these confessions because my children don’t seem to be suffering so far. When I need to spend more time on lunches or baths, I’ll find another place to shave off minutes of mom prep time. With those minutes I save, I can read a few pages of a novel, take a shower, write, or spend a few more minutes in bed. I like to think those stolen “me” minutes don’t make me selfish: they just make me energy efficient.

“Let’s sing,” Hyper Mom is insisting of her children. “A, B, C, D, E, F, G. . . ”

I consider buying her some herbal tea. But, then again, maybe she has her own energy efficient moments.

I think I’ll go home and wash some sippy cups.

By Maya Creedman

Labels: Maya Creedman

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