Eric is getting impossible to discipline. He beats me to the punch and takes away all of my fun.

After he gets an instant time-out for saying "stupid," "shut up," and/or "idiot" he gets sent to his room. His grand exit involves repeating the offensive word(s) with gusto and running to his room, locking it (it locks from the outside -- don't ask) and slamming the door behind him.

He is punishing himself. I didn’t even have time to put on my "mean mommy" face that usually accompanies my lecture.

"Okay, that's a double time-out!" I yell at his closed door. That will show him.

I feel slightly slighted.

I wanted the pleasure of escorting him to his room. I was all set to explain that we do not call names; that we need to use our nice language; that good behavior gets rewarded.

Whatever! This is his new favorite expression.

I try to enjoy the quiet. Where was that article I was trying to read before I was interrupted?

After ten minutes (the amount of a double time-out for the bad language and door slam) I go to release him. He is not interested.

“Go away!” he calls through the closed door.

“I want to be alone, please Mommy?”

Whatever. I unlock the door and go back to my magazine.

When he makes his re-appearance (sometimes even a half hour later) he is all smiles. "Sorry Mommy! Watch what I can do!"

He goes on to show me something new he discovered while locked in his room.

No more tears? How dare he sooth himself?

Are his self-directed time-outs actually working better than my constructive parenting?

By Cathy Burke

Labels: Cathy Burke

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