The Writing Mamas Daily Blog
Each day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.
And for that, you are a goddess.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Material Girl
Most people think Madonna is the Material Girl.
Wrong.
My daughter is.
What she loves more than anything are stuffed animals. She has about 150 of them, including three that she recently received for Hanukah and several await her for Christmas.
She has so many that they cover more than half her bed, are piled atop her dresser and fight for space in her rocking chair.
Mimi, 6, is addicted to having things bought for her, but clearly, she needs to be 12-stepped from stuffed animals.
I wonder if there is an SAA (Stuffed Animals Anonymous) meeting for her. Or a GRMWBTMFTC (Guilt-Ridden Mothers Who Buy Too Much for Their Children) meeting for me. In some ways, I think her constant purchase requests enable me to stop feeling guilty over whatever I might be feeling guilty about at that moment.
At a recent Hanukah party, her friend, Michael, asked his mother if she would buy him a book. Mimi already had her chosen stuffed animal, a horse, in her hands. It looked remarkably like the other 25 ponies that she already has. I was ready to say yes, when Helen said no. I immediately said no, too, but my first instinct was to say yes.
Until my father left, my brother, sisters and I were pretty spoiled, too. We got whatever we wanted. I remember my mother picking me up from a play date when my friend’s mother said to wait, that she would get the toy I left behind. My mother begged the woman to keep it. “They have too many things already,” she said. “Please. I have no more room in the house.”
When I was older, I asked my mother why they bought us so much. “Because when you’re father and I were kids we didn’t have a lot and we wanted our children to have what we didn’t.”
After my father left, so did the shopping sprees. That’s why I buy so much for my stepson, Jay, 14, and Mimi. To give them what I stopped getting, but still wanted.
Jay’s outgrown his desire for things. Thankfully, his interest now lies with books. Thank you, Harry Potter!
Mimi is a different story. Sometimes after I buy her something she’ll say, “Oh, Mommy, I know you love me so much.”
Ah, wrong lesson. I have to explain that my hope is that she loves me for being her mommy and not because of what I’ve purchased.
From all that material abundance I’ve noticed something: an abundance of love for her stuffed animals. Nightly, she sleeps with a different one so each feels special.
True, many have the same name so they may develop identity issues, but still! There is love.
Then there is Pote. Pote was her first stuffed animal. My best friend, Amy, her godmother, bought the black and white panda bear for her when she was born. When Mimi was a baby she would suck on his paws so now the cloth below the “hair” on his body is all that remains.
“Pote is super special,” Mimi told me. Then she whispered in my ear. “He’s really my favorite, but don’t tell the other animals ‘cause they might feel really bad.”
I drew my finger across my mouth. “My lips are sealed,” I said. “You’re a good mommy, Mimi.”
She may be a Material Girl, but she is also a loving one.
Now her Pokemon obsession, that is another blog.
By Dawn Yun
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Wrong.
My daughter is.
What she loves more than anything are stuffed animals. She has about 150 of them, including three that she recently received for Hanukah and several await her for Christmas.
She has so many that they cover more than half her bed, are piled atop her dresser and fight for space in her rocking chair.
Mimi, 6, is addicted to having things bought for her, but clearly, she needs to be 12-stepped from stuffed animals.
I wonder if there is an SAA (Stuffed Animals Anonymous) meeting for her. Or a GRMWBTMFTC (Guilt-Ridden Mothers Who Buy Too Much for Their Children) meeting for me. In some ways, I think her constant purchase requests enable me to stop feeling guilty over whatever I might be feeling guilty about at that moment.
At a recent Hanukah party, her friend, Michael, asked his mother if she would buy him a book. Mimi already had her chosen stuffed animal, a horse, in her hands. It looked remarkably like the other 25 ponies that she already has. I was ready to say yes, when Helen said no. I immediately said no, too, but my first instinct was to say yes.
Until my father left, my brother, sisters and I were pretty spoiled, too. We got whatever we wanted. I remember my mother picking me up from a play date when my friend’s mother said to wait, that she would get the toy I left behind. My mother begged the woman to keep it. “They have too many things already,” she said. “Please. I have no more room in the house.”
When I was older, I asked my mother why they bought us so much. “Because when you’re father and I were kids we didn’t have a lot and we wanted our children to have what we didn’t.”
After my father left, so did the shopping sprees. That’s why I buy so much for my stepson, Jay, 14, and Mimi. To give them what I stopped getting, but still wanted.
Jay’s outgrown his desire for things. Thankfully, his interest now lies with books. Thank you, Harry Potter!
Mimi is a different story. Sometimes after I buy her something she’ll say, “Oh, Mommy, I know you love me so much.”
Ah, wrong lesson. I have to explain that my hope is that she loves me for being her mommy and not because of what I’ve purchased.
From all that material abundance I’ve noticed something: an abundance of love for her stuffed animals. Nightly, she sleeps with a different one so each feels special.
True, many have the same name so they may develop identity issues, but still! There is love.
Then there is Pote. Pote was her first stuffed animal. My best friend, Amy, her godmother, bought the black and white panda bear for her when she was born. When Mimi was a baby she would suck on his paws so now the cloth below the “hair” on his body is all that remains.
“Pote is super special,” Mimi told me. Then she whispered in my ear. “He’s really my favorite, but don’t tell the other animals ‘cause they might feel really bad.”
I drew my finger across my mouth. “My lips are sealed,” I said. “You’re a good mommy, Mimi.”
She may be a Material Girl, but she is also a loving one.
Now her Pokemon obsession, that is another blog.
By Dawn Yun
Labels: Dawn Yun
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