The Writing Mamas Daily Blog

Each day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.

If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.

And for that, you are a goddess.

Thursday, November 08, 2007


Worried No More

After a long six weeks culminating in a disastrous conference with Eric's kindergarten teacher (and his principal!), we decided to pull him out and try again next year. They were pretty clear that he was not ready and we finally had to agree. I already figured he would repeat next year but it hadn’t occurred to me that he wouldn’t make it through this year.

I have known from the start it was not a good fit. I never warmed up to the teacher and it didn't help that Eric kept insisting she thought he was "stupid and the dumbest one.” While I am pretty sure she never said that to him directly (and by the way he is not!) the fact that he sensed that she thought it is a clear indication that he is pretty bright, but unappreciated.

In a way I feel vindicated! For once I wasn't just being hysterical! He really is immature!

I mean, I knew he wasn’t ready “academically,” but I thought he would have all year to get that stuff and I truly believed that his spunk would be his best attribute instead of his downfall. Because he was so “behind” the rest of his class, he was frustrated. This, plus his tenacity and an unsympathetic teacher, resulted in tantrums and inappropriate behavior and led ultimately to regular trips to the principal’s office.

The bottom line is that he was miserable and so was I. His spirit was broken and hearing daily that he hated school broke my heart.

The good news (finally) is I found a preschool that seems just right. He is now with his peers and loves school again. He is learning, but not under constant pressure.

I have finally stopped feeling like I am a terrible mom and am back on track. Now I am doing extra pushups to get my chest ready for that mother of the year award I finally deserve. I had pretty much forgotten about it, what with torturing my children daily with too much TV, sending Eric to kindergarten too early, and constantly screaming at them.

But things are so much better now.

Eric is finally where he is supposed to be, even though this was not in our plan (or budget). I wanted him to be ready to be in kindergarten because I was ready for him to be in kindergarten. But now that I got over that (okay, I finally realized it is not all about me...) I can do the right thing.

He is so much better off waiting a year. Thank goodness we are going through this now and the result is another fun year of learning for him versus not paying attention and pushing him too soon.

Plus now I get to spend more one-on-one time with both of my sons. Who knew I would enjoy that? And I actually get more time to myself. Eric naps at his new school and stays there till 4:00. Then I pick up Paul and drop him home before getting Eric. We're all more relaxed.

Now my only nagging thought is that Eric will be eighteen when he is in high school -- and he could be tried as an adult.

By Cathy Burke


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