The Writing Mamas Daily Blog

Each day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.

If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.

And for that, you are a goddess.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

 

Honest Writing

It should be easy. I notice something and the words come to mind so quickly.

Sometimes there is magic. My fingers are like magnets on the keyboards; the words a continuous flow from brain to digits. It is almost as if I’m not involved. Not to go all woo-woo here, but it is something akin to channeling.

Ah, but then there are the other times. The times when the sentence is all wrong. It might sound good but, really, it makes no sense. There is no meter or flow. If I were playing an instrument it would be off key.

I can look for excuses and do! E-mail!!! Oh, what a pain. There are so many. (Oh, good, there are lots to answer so I have no time to write!)

The phone rings. Not again. (Perfect! I have someone fun to talk to about anything – except writing!)

Sometimes, there is dusk on my desk and there is simply no way I can write with that grime. Who could? I make a pledge to Pledge the desk. There! It is clean.

And there – is my empty screen.

So much to write. So much to say. No idea where to begin.

At the beginning. Just start. Go ahead. Do it.

This is the hardest part. The empty white space of the computer represents the possibility of letting out everything I have been holding inside for a year and a half.

I have never been more afraid to write than I am now.

For too long I’ve skated away with humor, funny lines.

As I sit on my comfy mesh chair, my brand new, black, MacBook ready to support whatever it is I have to say -- somehow I have to gather the courage to let go, open my deepest wounds.

A box of tissues is already on my desk, waiting to be pulled. Ready to collect my emotions.

Once I can do those things -- then I will find the words.

By Dawn Yun

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