It never fails.

Whenever I feel sad about something that might be happening in my life, I see somebody worse off.

Usually it’s a physical impairment.

I saw a woman in her mid 30s, very attractive, moving along the sidewalk in her motorized scooter. She was missing both legs and both arms, but for a small portion of her right one that administered the controls that allowed her a degree of freedom.

“What’s wrong with her, Mommy,” my six-year old daughter asked.

“Wait until she passes and then we’ll talk about it,” I said. “And please don’t say anything until she goes by.”

Mimi complied.

I said I did not know how the woman lost her limbs. She may have been born like that. Perhaps she was in an accident. But her life could not be easy. She needed someone to feed her, help her go to the bathroom, help her to into bed, help with the ordinary things that we do without thought.

“Do you ever feel sorry for yourself, Mimi?” I asked. “Like when you disagree with a friend, or Mommy won’t buy something that you want?”

“Yes,” she said, staring up at me with her yet to be hurt by the world eyes.

“Well, imagine those situations, plus you don’t have any arms or legs and you need someone to help you most of the time. Wouldn’t that be hard?”

She agreed.

I wanted to teach her about appreciation and gratitude, but in a way that she could understand.

I also wanted to show her that life can have its challenges, yet they can be met and even overcome. I pointed out that the woman was going down the street by herself without anyone helping her. She could still have a degree of independence.

I explained to Mimi this phenomenon I have long had: whenever I feel sorry for myself or sad about a situation that I, a friend or a family member are facing, I see someone much worse off. And when I do – I am appreciative for what I do have.

“What does appreciative mean?” she asked.

I love her curiosity. And I love answering her questions.

“It’s when you're happy with what you have. Are you happy?”

She hugged me as we swung hands and walked down Fourth Street. “I’m happy to have you.”

“And I’m happy to have you!” I said and gave her a very big kiss, which she immediately wiped off with one hand, but clung tight to my arm with the other.

I thought about the woman in the scooter. ‘She has her emotional problems and then she has to deal with her physical ones.’

That’s not to minimize my own situations, or discount my problems, but it does put those concerns into context.

Sometimes it takes seeing others in difficult situations to visualize how good my life truly is.

By Dawn Yun

Labels: Dawn Yun

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