I’ve found that my kids can handle doing something they don’t want to do, or not getting their own way, if I can explain things to them. I still use the occasional,, “Because I told you to” but sometimes that feels a little inconsiderate.

Take yesterday, for instance, I was tempted to tell my kids to get out of the house at 8:15 on Labor Day morning and go out and play in the back yard simply because I told them to. But they were being sweet – if not just a tad too loud and busy for a holiday morning– and I didn’t want to ruin that mood with a grumpy argument.

So, instead, I told them the truth: “Look, you’re being too loud for our neighbors downstairs. It’s great that you’re bouncy and singing, but you can’t do that in our apartment because we live on the third floor and it’s loud right above our neighbors’ heads.”

My son pouted and furrowed his brow and said with his arms crossed, “I can’t wait ‘til we live on a first floor, so we can be loud.”

I thought about it a moment and realized I hadn’t actually told him the whole helpful truth yet. “Look, bud, I agree with you there, but before you start feeling too sorry for yourself, you need to understand you’re actually being too loud and too busy for your own home this morning. This happens to kids all across the planet, no matter where they live, so don’t feel too bad. Their parents open up the door and say ‘Get out of here – you’re just too loud and busy in here this morning. You need to be outdoors.’ My mom used to do it to me. Dad’s parents used to do it for him. Parents have been doing this to their kids for millions of years. Now go for it.”

He relaxed his shoulders a little, said “C’mon” with a nod to his sister, and grudgingly shuffled off to put on his flip-flops and head out the door. As he walked away, I realized with a jolt I was glad he finally found the truth helpful because if I got any more honest with him I would’ve had to tell him to get out of the house so his dad would quit pestering me for a quickie.

Which has been going on for millions of years, too, right?

By Anjie Reynolds

Labels: Anjie Reynolds

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