The Writing Mamas Daily Blog

Each day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.

If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.

And for that, you are a goddess.

Thursday, May 31, 2007


In Love

What exactly is the right answer when one of your children asks: “Who do you love most?” Is there ever a right answer? Secretly I would love to tell each of my children that of course they are by far my favorite one. That may be the only chance I have that one of them will take care of me in my old age. But the truth is I love Daddy best.

There are so many ways in which my love for my children is better than my love for my husband. I do not mean the sex. The physical relationship I have with my little boys borders on obscene. I am dreading the day I can’t kiss them on the lips and bite their bare bottoms. I can go a days without sex but I cannot go close to an hour without smothering my boys with hugs and kisses.

First of all, I picked my husband. Of course we had to ultimately pick each other but he was the one I wanted. My kids: not so much. With kids you take what you get and hope for the best. While I love my children immensely, I do not always like them. I think of them more as an acquired taste, like anchovies. My husband is my best friend. Even when he does something I am not crazy about we can talk about it. I do not have to silently chant: “this is age appropriate” until the thoughts of homicide have passed.

I would never refer to either of my children as perfect. My stepdaughter comes close. But I truly think my husband is perfect. I hesitate to use the word perfect without clarifying that he is the perfect husband for me. I mean, of course he is not PERFECT. But would I want him to be? His imperfections allow me to be, well, imperfect myself. While I am the first to admit I am not the perfect mother I really do believe that my husband is the perfect father. He has so many diverse skills that come in so handy that I often panic at the thought of doing this parenting thing without him. I love my boys so much but not a day goes by that I am not convinced I am screwing them up. I often feel that my husband is just better suited for this parenting thing than I am.

I want to help my sons become decent men. I want so much for them to be the Renaissance man I consider their father to be. There are things that make me wonder if I am as qualified as my husband to achieve this. I throw like a girl. I don’t really like to sweat or get dirty. I have a hard time peeing while standing up. I have a very low threshold for anything unpleasant (that includes vomit, whining, de-skunking the dog, and anything involving rodents). On the other hand, my husband is more in touch with his feminine side than I am. He can cook like a chef, picks and arranges flowers, shops the farmer’s market like a pro. Plus he can sew buttons on and operate a sewing machine. He is sexy in his sensitivity.

If my sons turn out half as great as I think their father is, their future wives will be lucky girls. Or boys. Who cares as long as they are happy? And hopefully appreciated.

By Cathy Burke


StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble This Post Add to Technorati Favorites
Great piece, original thinking, thanks,

Marianne Lonsdale
Cathy, thank you for answering the age old question:"whom does mommy loves the most?" :)
Now we know! Daddy!
I loved this piece!
does your husband have a brother? My sister is 45 and single. He sounds like a gem - lucky you!
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?