I am going to New York City to look at NYU with my stepdaughter. Of course I am thrilled that she got into such a prestigious school (I enjoy taking credit for all of her worthy accomplishments).

I am also thrilled that I am able to go with her and check out the city where I lived a million years ago. Okay, it has actually been 20 years since I spent the summer in a dorm at NYU while working in advertising between my junior and senior years of college. It may as well be a million years ago.

Most of all, I am thrilled about traveling across the country by myself to meet her in New York. This will be my first solo flight in nine years. It is an entire day of travel and I am looking forward to every minute.

I understand her wanting to go “away” to college. I would have given anything to have the chance to go across country to college. She also got into Berkeley, which is everybody else’s first choice. That would be her dad, her mom, her stepfather, and me. We make up a team. I joke that any two of us could not manage the job it takes all four of us to raise her.

But what we all love about Berkeley is the very thing that is holding her back: it is a 20-minute drive from both her respective households in Marin.

Is it our fault that the best school in the country is so close? We have offered to never visit, only allow her to come home for major holidays and even move ourselves. She remains undecided.
And so I plan my trip. The line between Alexandra and me keeps blurring in my mind. I can’t help but put myself in her position, wishing it were my own plans I was making.

I am sure I will miss her but I am thrilled for her. I am also jealous that
my college experiences are way in the past and hers are all still ahead of her.

By Cathy Burke

Labels: Berkeley, College, NYU, stepparent

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