I’ve just discovered iTunes.

I’ve also rediscovered the joy of closing my bedroom door and listening to music. Actually, not just listening to music, but singing and dancing around my room to music. I’m temporarily a teenager or a college student again. I’m oblivious to the cares of the world, enveloped in a lovely world of my own making.

As I play various songs, songs that I used to love or that have struck me over the years at one time or another, I open up a lost part of myself. Each part plays to the theme or the mood of the song; I reinvent myself approximately every three minutes when a new song begins. I am bursting with energy -- energy I forgot was within me, and my bedroom becomes a spot of heaven.

It truly does.

The Pretenders are playing, and I’m wearing cowboy boots, driving a rusty pick up truck with a roaring engine through the towns of Ohio. I’m an independent woman; I’ve seen a few things. I don’t take shit from anyone. I drink beer when I feel like it and I live my life as I chose to.

Joni Mitchell is playing now. I change into a long skirt and sit on my bed with poetry books strewn about. I indulge in my moodiness. I reflect on the men in my life, on the meaning of relationships. I am creative and inspired, and know that life is waiting for me to write, to be open, to let my emotions run.

Abba comes on (I know. . . but I secretly love Abba). I am transformed again. I am blissfully clad in a tight jumpsuit and gold platform shoes. I turn up the drama. I spin around, sashay across the floor to catch the waiting eye of my lover (some of this is just in my head, of course).

Do I dare open my bedroom door again to greet my children who have just awoken from their naps, to reenter the world of my daily existence? I do, because I am still glowing from the musical world I just left, knowing it will always be there, and that it in fact never left.

By Lisa Nave

Labels: dancing, iTunes, Lisa Nave

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