The Writing Mamas Daily Blog

Each day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.

If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.

And for that, you are a goddess.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

 

Loss Brings Grief, Empathy and Perspective


I've spent the morning crying for a high school friend.

She was a junior when I was a sophomore, and we were in a couple of clubs together. Really down-to-earth, gorgeous, sweet girl. I haven't seen her since she graduated.

Today on Reunion.com, I read a message she posted last May about her brother. Her brother was a year ahead of her. He was an adorable jock kind of guy and they were good friends throughout school.

Her post said that her brother had lost a three and a half year battle with brain cancer. He left behind his loving wife of fourteen years and their two daughters. And, I noticed in the message, as if it couldn't get any worse, one of his surviving daughters has leukemia.

I wrote my friend an e-mail in remembrance of her brother and to send her and her family my wishes for love and healing. She wrote back quickly to thank me, and then told me her grief was made even more unbearable this August when her eight-year-old boy drowned on vacation just four days after the one-year mark of her brother's death.

Her e-mail told me some days she can't even bear to breathe but she's got two other daughters to care for so she just keeps going for them.

God, I couldn't stop sobbing.

After my first child was born, I was shocked by the fierceness of my love and my desire to protect him. One day, as he slept in my arms, I found myself crying over him, begging the gods that his presence in my life would not be temporary.

Since then, my prayer has broadened to include others closest to me -- my husband and my daughter -- but, always, it is my desperate plea. And I know that as I sit at the computer crying for my friend, it was her plea, too.

By Anjie Reynolds

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Comments:
Your essay touched me deeply, it is beautifully written. And it caused me to instantly say the same prayer, and to remember how blessed I am to still have my children with me. Thank you.
 
Your essay touched me deeply; it's beautifully written. And it caused me to say the same prayer...and to be grateful that I still have my children with me. Thank you.
 
I'm almost positive that most moms have said this prayer. Protection and safety for our children and for our spouse.

You did it again Anj, wonderful job bringing the reader to that point that they feel it like you do or even more so they feel it for themself.
 
My heart aches for your friend. You always bring out those strong motherly emotions and tears. It's beautiful how you put such pain and heartache. She is living my greatest fear.
 
I was just saying that prayer today, thinking that if maybe I say it enough times I can protect my family. Your piece touches on this so beautifully. I'm so sorry for your friend. I can't even imagine...
 
I find it amazing that anyone is brave enough to have a child, to love another, as loss is always a possibility. Yet without the ristk what is life.
I know everyone has a sorrow. I go out everyday
trying to not add a burden to anyone as I know they may already be overburdened. We are all interconnected in everyway.
Beware that fear of losing someone can cause anxiety and over-protection and this too can be destructive. Ruth Scott
 
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