The Writing Mamas Daily BlogEach day on the Writing Mamas Daily Blog, a different member will write about mothering.
If you're a mom then you've said these words, you've made these observations and you've lived these situations - 24/7.
And for that, you are a goddess.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
I Can Dream, Can't I?
I'm seated at a table outdoors somewhere -- a swank L.A. eatery? Something occupies my hands. I'm making a pair of earrings, slicing frilly lettuce, or ???. . .
Ted Danson sits across from me and another man is to my left. I feel their eyes upon me. Interest, desire, that thing -- you women know. I feel shy, a little scared.
“You forty-four?” Ted asks.
“No, forty-two,” I respond too quickly. I immediately avert my eyes.
Time bends again. I lose myself in that primordial dream state.
Suddenly, I feel self-conscious again. I look up. Ted Danson is stretched out on a chair next to me, naked, skinny and hirsute. He searches for my approval, or better yet, my enthusiasm. I look away, trying not to laugh out loud.
Back to primordial fluid dream state.
Now my husband sits opposite me, his eyes fixed on something he’s working on -- eating, patching a tire tube, or ???. . .
“You happier with just the kids?
“No,” I state emphatically. I still want us to be an intact family.
This jolts me awake. Anxiety gnaws away at my solar plexus as I lay in our queen-size bed without him. He’s staying with a friend. I try to get back to sleep. I stuff a small, hard throw pillow beneath my stomach and the bed. My head’s bent at a sharp right angle, my ear pressed against the mattress. It’s a technique I have developed over the years.
Twenty minutes takes me to a deep sleep, thankfully devoid of dreams, until morning.
By Vicki Inglis Stumble This Post
your clarity is admirable, pain gives such a focus and your words really capture your difficult momentPost a Comment
bless your heart
bless your heart